


Elmo's Wizarding World

by charmingCobra



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sesame Street (TV)
Genre: awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3075467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmingCobra/pseuds/charmingCobra





	Elmo's Wizarding World

Elmo was in his apartment, his goldfish bowl clutched tightly to his furry chest as he layed back on the worn leather couch. His plastic eyes were fixed on the television, which displayed a still image of Mel Gibson contemplating a tiny spoon. In the kitchen, Mr. Noodle and his brother Mr. Noodle were passed out on top of each other, exhausted after their usual Saturday night game of Extreme Canasta. All was quiet.

A sudden burst of green light interrupted the tranquil scene, permeating the apartment and shifting Elmo's focus from Gibson's visage. Then, a scream echoed throughout Sesame Street. Groggily, Elmo dragged his limp puppet body to the windowsill just in time to witness a tall man run frantically from the house across the street. Another blinding flash, and the man was gone. This was the first time Elmo saw Lord Voldemort, but it would not be the last.

1991\. Elmo stepped clumsily off the Hogwarts Express, still dazed from a night of nervous drinking. He was about to begin his first day as mascot of Hufflepuff house. He marched along behind the fledgling wizards; Hogwarts castle loomed ominously in the distance. For a moment, he locked eyes with one of the eager children, but quickly dropped his gaze. Harry Potter, the boy who'd been orphaned all those years ago by a tall man and a green flash. Elmo choked back a polyester tear, and kept walking.

Elmo's life took a turn for the worse. Four months into his employment at Hogwarts, and his career was already in a state of flux. After only two days of being the Hufflepuff mascot, he was approached by his supervisor. The school had recently lost their Charms teacher to a tragic accident (the details of which were specifically withheld), and Elmo was to take over the position. Elmo had failed to include on his resume a quite important detail: he was a squib. Completely incapable of performing magic. This became quite clear to the Hogwarts staffers, who had Elmo transferred to an apprenticeship under the groundskeeper, Hagrid. Hagrid was a monster of a man, and his dog was no less menacing. After narrowly escaping becoming a new chewtoy for the beastly hound, Elmo was reassigned once again. The task sounded straightforward enough - he was to patrol the school, straightening the numerous portraits housed within the castle. Elmo had not anticipated how picky the subjects each portrait would be. Each day was a mental struggle, and an excercise in composure. Countless times a day, the thought crossed his mind to take a knife to the pretentious portraits, to destroy those fragile canvases. If he had to hear, "No, you fuzzy fool. A little more to the left!" just one more time, he'd surely burst into a gory pile of cotton and fabric.

One day, Elmo was making his rounds nearby the Gryffindor common room, when he heard a familiar voice cry, "Mr. Elmo!" He turned his head to find none other than young Harry Potter rushing towards him. "Oh, hello Harry! What can Elmo do for you?" Elmo replied in his trademark singsongy chirp.


End file.
